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Sunday, June 10th, 2007
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5:28 pm - An escape
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So I went down to duck island today for the first time in probably 5 years. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed just sitting in the shade by the water. It's just so relaxing for me to be outdoors like that. I'll be sure to go back again sometime soon =)
current mood:  relaxed
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(comment on this)
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2:49 pm - Hey
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Quite a bit going on these days, not much to really write about though. Don't know who wants to hear what, lol. Things have been a bit up and down recently, but I know the reasons behind all of it, just don't know if I can fix things fast enough. I hope to be able to though =)
Unfortunatly, I haven't had much sleep recently. I'll be totally exhausted when I lay down, might get an hour of sleep in, and then I am wide awake again, looking forward to another long long day. Most of the lack of sleep though has been caused by worries, either over a situation, somebodies well being, or something that's going on. One of these nights I'll think I'll actually have enough time to resort to a sleep aid again, but I have no clue when, lol.
Another bother recently is Mike disapearing on me. He was supposed to get a hold of me yesterday, never did. I called a few times because I was trying to set up some plans with him, but he never called back. Oh well, I tried.
But that gets to another worry/concern of mine, but I'm not going to get into that at this time, lol.
Anyways, get back in touch sometime folks. I know it's been a while, but, I'm still around =)
Carl
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(comment on this)
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3:14 am - Yeah...
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Don't know if you'll read this at all or not, but I'm kinda confused right now. I'm getting such mixed signals from you I don't know what to think, say or do around you anymore. Don't have any clue as to what or when these days.
But first, I'm worried. You're sick. We both know that. Stay home and recover. Relax and lay off the partying. I know we talked about going to these concerts last week, but I'd understand if you didn't feel up to it. Tonight, when we first went outside, you looked run-down and just beat. I asked you if you were ok, I really wanted to bring you home then, but you hit me with a 'give em a break, I'm sick.' I know, and I want you to get better.
Another worry, you're smoking. I hate to lecture and all, and it's fun, but when I met you, I am willing to bet that you smoked a lot less. I got you the first, and that lasted what, almost 3 weeks? You went to Mass. and you did stuff there, get back, and the first night when we were out you're talking about wanting to get more. I got that for you the next day and haven't seen you straight since. Please, lay off a little bit, ok?
Last two nights out, you've just been stand-offish with me, so like I said, I don't know what I can do anymore. I try and get a feel for your mood and get no response from you. Kinda tells me you don't want anything to do with it. That kinda brings to thinking about Thursday night again, and even though I didn't think you did, it's kinda showing to me that you're thinking that I am totally fucked up. You know my problem, you can see how it hurts me, and it's worse when you don't believe it. But you saw then what it's doing to me inside, and I'm hoping things haven't changed at all because of it.
As you said, we've had this great conection, it's been wonderful. You know that me saying that 'I really like you' isn't quite covering the feelings, and I think it's the same for you, but I told you, I wasn't going to go further. What I said before still stands.
But you keep me so unsure around you, (and we come back to this) I never really know what I should be doing, or what you would like me to do, or even what I can do around you. I'd just like to hear what you're thinking, know what you're feeling. It would mean a lot to me to know what's on your mind.
Anyways, there's that, and maybe you'll read this, maybe I'm wrong in some of the things I think, who can say. But for now, I need to sleep, and I'll wait to see what tomorrow brings. I hope you feel better, and I hope that I don't sound like I'm lecturing. I'm just concerned, and I want you to know that.
current mood:  confused
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, June 2nd, 2007
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1:10 am - I miss her... (note to Allison)
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Not hearing from you today or know what was going on, it had me so worried. I was doing whatever I could just to try to keep my mind off of it all day, but it didn't work at all. It was quite the relief to hear from you and find out that everything was ok. Between not knowing and finding out ended up being so exauhsting that I went straight home and slept most of the day, lol.
Now, I don't tell you this with any intention of making you feel bad, I'm almost not writing it because I don't want you to, but more for the fact that I realised how much you actually mean to me. Like, really, Mike's been my best friend since I was 12, and I wouldn't have been like this over him. And it's nothing like I think you can't handle yourself, or that I'd like you to report in to me, lol, I'd never ask that of you... Just... I don't know... I was just shocked at the feeling... I really do miss you, and have been thinking about you more and more as time goes on. I can hardly wait to see you again =) I hope you're really enjoying yourself though, and don't let me distract you at all with this. And I hope we get the chance to hang out when you get back, or crash if you're tired from the drive, so yeah, get in touch when you want to, I'll be around. Anyways, I'm still beat, so I'm going to get some more rest in now. As always, feel free to call or get in touch anytime, and have a great time.
current mood:  drained
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, May 28th, 2007
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11:26 pm - So
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Been thinking a lot recently, bad side effect of having some time on my hands, lol. And I've been focusing on this nagging feeling in the back of my head. Don't know what I'm nagging myself over, but it keeps going. I don't know, I think that I find it odd to be comfortable where I am. Like, I am not used to liking the situation that I am in (and no, I don't know what it is, lol), but I like it, and that confuses me. Follow? Just, it feels different, and it bothers me, even though it feels good. Ever happen to anybody else?
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, June 19th, 2005
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8:56 pm
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| Friday, May 6th, 2005
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8:42 pm
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It is 8:30 on a Friday night, and I am completly bored for once. It's been so long since I have been out to do anything, that I don't know what to do anymore. ;;sigh;; Actually sitting at home bored for once. Can't believe that it has finally happened again. Well, just felt like writtng this to pass some time, but I have no idea of anything to write about either. Crap!! Can't get a hold of anybody, can't think of anything to do, and this just sucks. lol Well, hit me up if you're bored too.
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, October 27th, 2004
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6:51 am
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| Tuesday, October 5th, 2004
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4:06 pm - I'm Back!
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Sorry that it's been so long since I have gotten ahold of people, I've just had things to work out with myself. (sorry that it does happen so often, even if you dont know what it is...)
But I'm good now, and soon enough (once I have money to do stuff), I'll be out there again.
I can't even afford coffee till thursday...o well, time for withdrawl.
Guess it's good though since I'm getting a cold, I'd rather rest and be recovered by then, but we'll see.
Anywho, a lot has happened recently, so I will be telling you all about it soon.
And theres for the one sentances posts =)
( Just to try... )
current mood: content
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, September 9th, 2004
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12:44 pm
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"Why the hell did I buy bird seed?" "Is it to feed your pigeon?" "I haven't seen that pigeon in a while. I love my pigeon..." "Well then, I couldn't tell you why you bought the bird seed." "It's to firb the beeds."
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, July 6th, 2004
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1:53 pm
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Oh yeah, and for those of you who might have missed it before, my LJ's been friends only for some time now...so, if you haven't seen anything from me in a while, log in, or comment here. Thanks
current music: Jason Mraz - Curbside Prophet
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Friday, June 4th, 2004
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3:35 pm
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1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Describe me in one word.
7. What was your first impression?
8. Do you still think that way about me now?
9. What reminds you of me?
10. If you could give me anything what would it be?
11. How well do you know me?
12. When's the last time you saw me?
13. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
14. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, May 27th, 2004
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4:30 pm - Thanks Kel, now look at what you made me do =)
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I AM 53% ASSHOLE/BITCH!  I am abrasive, some people really hate me, but there may be a group of other tight knit assholes and bitches that I can hang out with and get me. Everybody else? Fuck em. |
I AM 32% INTERNET ADDICT!  I could go either way. Deep into the madness of nights filled with coding CGI-Scripts and online role playing games, or I could become a normal user. Good luck! |
I AM 86% EVIL GENIUS!  I am pure evil. I lie awake at night devising schemes of world domination, and I will not rest until all living souls bend to my will. |
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, May 23rd, 2004
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10:11 pm
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| Tuesday, May 18th, 2004
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8:44 pm
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o yeah, this week at work
mon - 8-4
tue - 8-4
wed - 9-5
thur 8-4
fri - 8-4
sat, sun, mon and tue, i have off!!!!!
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, May 17th, 2004
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10:19 pm
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Yeah, so, I'm talking to Jess today, and like, she's only reading about every third thing that I write, and I don't think that she answered one question that I asked her today. I mean, even the simple 'how are you's' and 'what's up's' Damn I hate that stuff...
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, May 10th, 2004
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9:33 pm
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Yo, for those that I haven't told, I've been promoted to a manager at work, so I'm going to be training or the next couple weeks, so my schedual isn't going to be the nice 5-1:30 that i've had. So, I'll prolly be posting my work weeks again in here for the time.
This is so much work though. Some 4,000 pages of Mc Procedures i have to memorize, and they handed me about 8 hours of videos to watch, which i just found out was the first set of 7.
oy
lol
anywho, my work week this week
Mon - 8-4
Tue - 9-5
Wed - 9-5
Thur - 8-4
Fri - 8-4
Sat - off
Sun - off
sweet deal
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, May 7th, 2004
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10:06 pm
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| Tuesday, April 27th, 2004
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9:01 pm
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| Wednesday, April 21st, 2004
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7:35 pm
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O yeah, and for those of you who think that I haven't updated in a while, sign in, I've gone friends-only.
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(comment on this)
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